An Atheist Reads the Bible – 8 – The Empty Tomb


An atheist opens the New Testament and finds contradictions galore.

CREDITS:
————
WRITTEN, EDITED & POORLY ANIMATED by 43alley

AUDIO: The classic Scourbey audio recording of the Bible (a minimal excerpt from a 70+ hour recording) – all utilized for educational, critical, parody and non-commercial use under the Fair Use Doctrine, Campbell v. Acuff-Rose Music, 510 U.S. 569 (1994), etc. This narration is available for download on various websites as well all across YouTube.

MUSIC: Taken from various royalty-free websites across the web. The clips used here are with permission from http://www.royaltyfreemusic.com/ (Shaun Harris, Shaun Harris Music, BMI © 2009)

TEXT: The Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John. The passages here are all from the last chapter of each Gospel (with the exception of John, which is the next-to-last. Many believe the last chapter of John to be a subsequent forgery).

Duration : 0:5:11


[youtube Kj7VSGmKRPw]

25 Responses

  1. Unknnnnn Says:

    OH MY God ! …
    OH MY God !!!! The Undead!!!!!!!!! D:

  2. chris200830 Says:

    great job 43alley, …
    great job 43alley, please keep it up. it’s so incredibly funny, like the bible XD

  3. 43alley Says:

    @lobitopp.

    Haha. …
    @lobitopp.

    Haha. Then please explain the “main point” to me. I can’t wait.

  4. lobitopp Says:

    43alley are you …
    43alley are you retarded? How old are you? seems you don’t understand the main point of the gospels.

  5. ForemanErik Says:

    @Kongodiantotela …
    @Kongodiantotela wrong.

  6. 43alley Says:

    Who was in the tomb …
    Who was in the tomb when the rock was rolled away?

  7. Kongodiantotela Says:

    Where are the …
    Where are the contradictions you are talking about? You failed lamentably, man. I see no significant contradiction here. A story can be told in a thousand different ways.

  8. snoopval Says:

    I agree with you, …
    I agree with you, though these videos are humorous and I do think God has a sense of humor, I think that God is great and I love him and worship him and agree with what you said.

  9. cellopc82 Says:

    If the four gospels …
    If the four gospels told the same exact story, only one would be included.
    I see the Bible as inspired by God but written by people… people who each had their own experiences and views… and people who wrote to specific audiences. The stories are not meant to all be taken at face value… rather the collective story they share- of a loving God who redeems his people and calls them to care for and love one another- is what’s of importance.

  10. tjohn1986 Says:

    they fix things all …
    they fix things all the time, by fix i mean take out things that are way too ridiculous even for the bible. there were many books that didn’t even make it into the bible which had fun stuff like sun revolves around earth

  11. tjohn1986 Says:

    on to new testament …
    on to new testament already? tons more fun still left in old

  12. philhunter2005 Says:

    There are still …
    There are still some contradictions in the bible but not on this subject. I think the earlier versions of the bible were translated incorrectly. But it does show you that bibles are fallible in areas and should not be taken literally.

  13. Psa1mist9 Says:

    @philhunter2005 ur …
    @philhunter2005 ur correct the begining is not a contradiciton… i dont know what alley43 was thinking on that one… yet the other verses he shows that there are CLEARLY contradictions. Jesus is an allagory…. there were over 20 gospels written… the allegory is to teach you knowledge of self…

    God is within YOU. Jesus meditated for 40 days… the importance of meditation and prayer till ultimate enlightment.

    ONENESS

  14. philhunter2005 Says:

    Im an athesit. The …
    Im an athesit. The New International Version (NIV) has no contradictions. They all comply with being
    -After the sabbath
    -First Day of the week
    -At Dawn
    Is there a chance they may have retranslated it correctly, giving that they had more experienced translators?

  15. joejosh1234 Says:

    so… you read and …
    so… you read and abide by a “mistranslated” book? I dont know about you, but any book intended to be learned from with so much “engrish” in it, I simply discard it. But of course you could look up the old testament, and read through it. Yes, it still counts, because your ‘almighty’ said the earth will die long before the OT (God’s law) becomes invalid. I don’t suppose you will though, you seem to like your fantasy land too much to be able to handle anything real.

  16. KamidakeRed Says:

    Oh its says that …
    Oh its says that word for word Just Face it the Bible is Total Bullshit made up by humans and written by humans because if it were written by the will of god you would think that god word would be perfect and not over run each other if it was god it would have been all the same and all perfect but god is not really he just like Santa

  17. healthyfooddiva Says:

    I suggest we study …
    I suggest we study it for ourselves and not take anyones word for it….

  18. firasjarar1 Says:

    ISLAM IS THE BEST
    ISLAM IS THE BEST

  19. Voodoofreak35 Says:

    oh my god the …
    oh my god the Zombie jesus is absolutely frightening!!
    fuckkkkkkkkkkkkk

  20. FistInTheAir420 Says:

    Matthew 27:52-53

    Matthew 27:52-53
    52And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose,

    53And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many.

    Yea, there are zombies in the bible. Also unicorns, dragons, satyrs, talking snakes, sea monsters and god.

  21. sahooq Says:

    fuck jesus
    jesus

  22. nedbeaty72 Says:

    Just shows you …
    Just shows you don’t know shit. The oldest transcripts were written in greek. They were translated into latin due to the roman catholic church. The King james bible was translated from greek when the church of england was in it’s infancy. If you really want to know what you are talking about then I suggest reading some of Bart Ehrman’s book, I don’t suppose you will though, you seem to like your fantasy land too much to be able to handle anything real.

  23. 43alley Says:

    “[The King James ...
    "[The King James Bible] was translated in a time where American culture didn’t know much about Latin.”

    Of course American culture didn’t know much about Latin when the KJV was translated. It was done in 1604, about 170 some years before America got officially started.

    That’s almost twice the time between Jesus’s alleged time on Earth and the only books we have about what happened.

  24. Remembrance1692 Says:

    I heard there were …
    I heard there were Zombies in the bible but I didn’t know if it was just Jesus they were talking about or if they were actually talking about Zombies rising from the dead and eating people…. so from this video I’m guessing it was the second one? lol

  25. DecentralizedByGuilt Says:

    It’s mythology. …
    It’s mythology. It’s pertaining to the use of entheogens. The “stone” is the substance, the drug.

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