An Atheist Reads the Bible – 9 – Ride Jesus Ride!


An atheist opens the Gospels and sees Jesus doing stunt work.

CREDITS:
————
WRITTEN, EDITED & POORLY ANIMATED by 43alley

AUDIO: The classic Scourbey audio recording of the Bible (a minimal excerpt from a 70+ hour recording) – all utilized for educational, critical, parody and non-commercial use under the Fair Use Doctrine, Campbell v. Acuff-Rose Music, 510 U.S. 569 (1994), etc. This narration is available for download on various websites as well all across YouTube.

The end credits scene is the audio of Christian Bale blowing up on a poor light-guy on the set of Terminator:Salvation.

MUSIC: Taken from various royalty-free websites across the web.

TEXT: The Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John. See the video for exact citations.

One brief still is used from a video of NonStampCollector as an homage.

Duration : 0:5:12


[youtube t9vYDAHkb8c]

25 Responses

  1. ShowYourWorking Says:

    But the gospels …
    But the gospels intentionally recounted prophesies. That is the nature of the literary form called a “gospel”. They aren’t meant to be read as history or biography. Criticising them for being inconsistent historically betrays a misunderstanding of their nature and purpose (and most Christians are every bit as guilty of this as non-believers). This is similar to people who treat Homer’s Odyssey as a real travelogue and argue about where the Cyclops’s island was.

    I do like the series, though.

  2. pillowbugg Says:

    LOL @ Jesus riding …
    LOL @ Jesus riding split donkey

  3. orkasteez Says:

    nice Cristian bale …
    nice Cristian bale part at the end lolzolololozlololoz batman u are a dick lolzolololololz whoot whoot jesus = batman sweet god the world would be less weird

  4. grozde Says:

    @ebaltrace
    And a …

    @ebaltrace
    And a very hypocritical one to it.

  5. ebaltrace Says:

    @grozde Jesus was …
    @grozde Jesus was just another sinner.
    It’s there in the Bible for anyone to see if they had eyes to see.
    Ebal the Atheist

  6. grozde Says:

    @ebaltrace
    Are you …

    @ebaltrace
    Are you God – or God’s son?? ;-) )
    calm down, man – I meant it ironically.
    Jesus seems meek and endearing, but is not better than his “father”… It’s strange we don’t find any rapes in his “biographies”…

  7. ebaltrace Says:

    @grozde If I take …
    @grozde If I take your car, will I be stealing it? Give me your address, I’m going to take your car if it’s not stealing.
    Ebal the Atheist

  8. grozde Says:

    @ebaltrace
    No, …

    @ebaltrace
    No, Jesus just ‘took it/them”. The not steeling commandment obviously is just for people…. As well as the not killing…

  9. ikvsabre Says:

    “Zombies and …
    “Zombies and dual-riding donkeys FTW! ”

    Zombies on donkeys! ;-)

  10. ikvsabre Says:

    Great vid…


    Great vid…

    but who is the douchebag upset about the guy walking into the shot? He’s just a bit full of himself, isn’t he?

  11. Voodoofreak35 Says:

    lol nice tribute to …
    lol nice tribute to Christian Bale!

  12. Voodoofreak35 Says:

    WOW
    U know what I …

    WOW
    U know what I actually believe in God. But the Bible is just so ridiculous for me. Yeah sure, anyone can imagine that an almighty powerful Messiah is going to arrive here in this world on a donkey…
    What a great way of entrance huh?

  13. sgtcrab1 Says:

    @ebaltrace …
    @ebaltrace Reptillian Illuminati getting ready for the new world order!

  14. JaquitoBueno Says:

    Matthew is my …
    Matthew is my favorite gospel. Zombies and dual-riding donkeys FTW!

  15. ThisClownis2in1 Says:

    Fucking awesome! …
    awesome! Wow.

  16. scottydu81 Says:

    wow, christian bale …
    wow, christian bale almost made me cry!

  17. lanakid1 Says:

    actually, it …
    actually, it depends on which version of the bible you are reading. Jehovah and Yeshua are both correct

  18. ebaltrace Says:

    So what about this …
    So what about this donkey, or was it two donkeys, ….did Jesus send his Apostles to steal the donkey? Or did Jesus have some co-conspirators in the background who provided the donkey. Maybe they were the same people who sent a man carrying a pitcher of water to meet the Apostles and provide a place to eat the passover? [Mark 14:13-16]
    Who were these shadowy “friends” of Jesus and what was their role?
    Ebal the Atheist

  19. ebaltrace Says:

    It is very obvious …
    It is very obvious that the author of Matthew’s Gospel did not understand Hebrew Poetry when it doubles a line by saying the same thought two ways. He thought there were two donkeys when there was only one. He reveals that he was a Gentile and not a Jew as most Christians believe.
    Ebal the Atheist

  20. Drealist87 Says:

    Him riding the 2 …
    Him riding the 2 horses was so epic.

  21. rkyeun Says:

    Correct spelling is …
    Correct spelling is Yeshua.

  22. kmartmask Says:

    The ending was …
    The ending was brilliant mate!

  23. 43alley Says:

    Haha!

    You can’t …
    Haha!

    You can’t thumb up or down my comments! Mua-haha!

  24. onijester56 Says:

    I wish I could …
    I wish I could thumb this comment up…

    But, I also wish to say that the time of the Third Coming of Horus is among us.
    XD

  25. skedaddleMLS Says:

    thou shalt not …
    thou shalt not steal jesus!

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